Morning Reflection - Good Leader

Good Leader...

When I see this word.. I think what is the meaning of this word...

Everyone perhaps has different opinion or perception on this word... During my career life, more than 25 years, I already have more than 10 boss... Is a boss will be similar with a Leader.... I don't think so..

You could be a boss when you have a team and also because you are being promoted to be a boss..

A leader not necessary you have a team, even in your personal life you also could be a leader for anything... A husband, a father, a single mother or the bread winner of the family regardless the gender and etc...

Therefore for me, a good leader is more meaningful than a good boss.. And in my opinion a good leader are as follows :

- People "respect" to a good leader instead of "afraid". This 2 words has different impact. When people respect to you... it means that they will do a task because they feel that they would like to make you happy and they will do wholeheartedly... while if people afraid of you, they will do only because they feel that they will get the bad impact if they don't do the task and not wholeheartedly...

- People "trust" to a good leader because they believe that the leader will bring them to a good result. Once a Leader could not be trusted especially if you lead a team, it will jeopardize the whole programme or relationship.

- People "feel secure" with the good leader as they feel that the leader will not threat their security especially their heart.... This is relate to the trust... If they trust the leader they will feel secure. A leader could make the team feel secure when he also feel confidence & secure on himself...

- A good leader is "inclusive"... He/She could appreciate uniqueness of each individual because nobody same with other people.. Every person has different strength & weakness.

That's my opinion for the good leader...

As I mention above, everybody has different perception or opinion on this... soo everybody has also welcome to have different opinion...
 

Fiendship is forever

This photo taken several months ago when we have dinner date..

We are classmates almost 30 yrs ago and we still connected... before era social media we never have connected but thru fb we finally connected and follow with wag..

Friendship is stay forever wherever, whenever and whatever you are...

Mulultmu Harimaumu

Saya menulis ini karena saya melihat apa yang terjadi akhir-akhir ini di Negara yang kucintai ini, yaitu Indonesia terutama Jakarta...

Apa yang terjadi belakangan ini adalah akibat perkataaan seorang pemimpin yang dikenal sering berkata-kata ceplas ceplos terkadang kasar...tanpa memikirkan perasaan orang lain. Yeess... dia tidak korupsi... yeess dia jujur.... tetapi No ... dia tidak menjaga perkataannya...

Ada teman berkata ke saya ... lebih baik seperti ini daripada korupsi.. kalo saya lebih baik tidak korupsi dan tidak kasar ...

Mungkin saya kuno... mungkin saya sudah tua.... tapi saya ingat saya dididik oleh orang tua saya bahwa perkataan kita mencerminkan kita... bahkan terkadang pendidikan kita....

Saya sedih sekali melihat bahwa karena perkataan seseorang yang sangat tidak sensitive .. rakyat negaraku menjadi terpecah belah... sesama teman atau pun keluarga saling berdebat, baik di medsos maupun dalam berkata-kata... Silaturahmi terputus utamanya di medsos apalagi kalau teman/saudara itu punya pandangan berbeda.

Saya sudah menonton video yang menjadi sumber keributan.... baik video pendek dan video panjang.... tetapi semua intinya menjadi satu bahwa ada kata-kata spesifik nya yang menjadi sumber semua masalah ini.

Saya tidak akan berdebat mengenai ilmu agama karena saya juga bukan ahli agama, tetapi sebagai penganut agama tersebut, dada saya merasa sesak pada saat mendengar perkataan tersebut..

Jadi saya dapat mengerti terjadi gelombang kemarahan yang massal dan semua bersatu untuk berpartisipasi dalam demo hari ini... dari segala kalangan, miskin atau kaya, semua kalangan pendidikan.. Lulusan SD sampai Lulusan S3, lulusan dalam negeri sampai lulusan luar negeri

Saya mengerti juga bahwa ada kelompok lain yang menyatakan mengapa harus demo hari ini karena pemerintah sudah menjamin bahwa akan diproses secara hukum.... Yes.. mereka juga benar... bahwa akan diproses secara hukum.

Terus pertanyaan nya kenapa harus tetap demo.. yach itu hak setiap warganegara untuk menyarakan aspirasinya jadi kudunya dihadapi dengan anteng aja... jangan menjadi bahan perdebatan.

Ada juga yang menyatakan bahwa demo ini bermuatan politik karena orang yang dituju adalah salah satu calon Pilkada... tetapi kalau pendapat saya Pribadi kalaupun ada muatan politik, muatannya kecil sekali karena dari peserta demo mereka tidak punya urusan dengan Pilkada... Dan kalaupun politik gelombang nya tidak akan sekian besar... Ini sama dengan tahun 1998 dimana orang sukarela berdemo ingin menurunkan Presiden kala itu.. Dan saya juga bisa melihat bahwa aparat menaruh perhatian cukup besar jadi menurut saya ini adalah sesuatu yang berbeda dari sekedar tunggangan politik...

Daaann ini semua terjadi karena tutur kata seorang Pemimpin yang harusnya tidak terucapkan di Negara yang majemuk ini... Kalau kata orang yang mendukung adalah "masa kita tidak bisa diversity"... tetapi kalo kata orang yang tidak mendukung "yang mengucapkan pernyataan juga tidak diversity karena merasa bahwa ayat itu menjatuhkan dirinya"....

Saya selalu ingat perkataan dan nasihat orang tua jaman dulu "Mulutmu Harimaumu" dan kasus ini adalah sangat pas banget dengan nasihat ini. Harimau ini muncul karena ada Pemimpin yang tidak bisa menjaga "tutur kata (Mulut)" nya.

Jadi jagalah semua tutur kata ... ini adalah juga #selfreminder# untuk saya... terutama apabila anda adalah juga seorang pemimpin (terutama public figure)

Dan ingatlah.. agama adalah kepercayaan seseorang jadi janganlah diganggu termasuk kitab suci dan ulamanya...

#CintaIndonesiaDamai#

Book philosophy

My philosophy is seeing life is like writing & reading book...

When we start to write, we need to have creative in mind to have the good story or color at that book. So is life, we are the one who decide whether we will have the good life or bad life.

When we start to read a book we must remember that this book will end. So is life, when we have the tough day, remember that this chapter will end and the happy day will come.. however when we have the happy day we need to prepare for the worst day

So that my philosophy of life and could face any challenge everyday in my life

Handling stress in your busy day

This year will be the busy year.

I have several big agenda for this year which part of my target.
I have to manage the stress which possibility to occur. How to handle it as I have the heart problem

 

I will :

Increase my religious things, mandatory or optional. I believe everything happen for reaason.

Keep the regular sport schedule to maintain my health

Maintain to continue my hobby to balance my job to be done

Make schedule for 1 year and try to stick with the schedule, if not, I will try to adjust it. Not stress of this doing.

Will it keep the stress maintain.
I hope so, at least I try it.

Do you want to know whether it success. wait for my success story at the end of the year

Basic Skill for Secretary/Personal Assistance - Keeping Secret

"Secretary" from the word "Secret", therefore one of the important skill of secretary is keeping a secret.
Nowadays,  secretarial job known as Personal Assistance which means that this skill also still valid.

In my professional life when I am doing the secretarial job, I proud because I am the one who will know about my boss personal & professional life even the team under my boss.

One of my experience was when 1 of the team was being promoted to be a manager which this person was having close relationship with me. I already had the information however I keep this information from her. When she received  the payslip with the additional salary, she ask me and I told her to ask the boss. She surprised that she got promoted when she was being told by the boss.
When she asked me why I didn't told her, I ask her how she feel if the news come from me and not from the boss, she said the impact will be different.
From that experience I could say that it is matter who will deliver the news. The impact from the boss deliver the news compare to me who only just chit chat and inform her that she got promoted is totally different.

In my other experience, I have the experience, which the information about the promotion leak to the person by one of the secretary while this information was not confirmed yet. Suddenly the planning changed and the person who was being promoted is not him/her. The person asked to the boss why not him/her while he/she already have the high expectation.
We can imagine how disappointed for the person and it will impact to the performance or attrition.

This is only small sample.... which impact to the person... can you imagine if this is company top secret and the secretary/PA told friends in the chit chat.

For me this is one of the important skill for the secretary/PA....

However sometimes in your relationship, some "want to know" friends will ask the secretary about some information especially on the people arrangement... How to handle this?

This is my tips based on my experience.

I always answer the question with the following answer :

For the close friends ..... "I am your friend but on this matter, sorry, I could not answer your question... because this is my job and I have to be a professional on this

For other... "Eventhough I could answer your question but this is not my position to answer the question"

This tips are work because they will respect me.... and one day when they are being your boss they could trust on you. We never know what is the future, perhaps one day your friend will be your boss :)

This skill is one of the skill which very useful when I am handling the role as the Benefit Specialist. I am the only one in my company who had the access for all salary review including my boss at that time. My boss report to a boss outside Indonesia therefore I am the one who knows his salary increase proposal. When my boss asked me to give him the information, I said to him, I will inform his boss to inform him the amount and I will not inform him about this information.

I feel that this skill based on my practice when I am doing my secretarial job therefore I could play this role eventhough the person is higher than me.

Because when a Secretary/Personal Assistant is not have this skill, this means is he/she is not suitable for this job.

One of the reason I could sit in my position now because this skill and for me when I could not do this skill anymore it means jeopardize my job.

Friendship

<p><p>Several years ago when BBM booming, I initiate a group of BBM Group with several friends in my department at the office.<br>
Starting with gossipping until we have several times visit to the house of several of us and now we feel that we are the family. Eventhogh some of us has left the company, some of them being promoted (one of them is my big boss now ��), we still maintain our group with move to WAG and we willl meet up every several months.</p>

<p>I think that people need somebody or some friends other than your spouse or family so you will have social live and you will have balance life between your job, your familu and your social friends.</p>

In the digital era like now is rare to have this kind of friendship which you could tease, gossiping, give input with no hard feeling… and I feel blessed that I have that kind of friendship…. Don’t care people think that it is old generation however if you already grown old you would feel that you need this kind of friendship…. that’s why many reunion being held.
And when you meet up you could relieve your workload  for the time being and only laugh, “curhat” and also give advise….

Soooo try to find your friendship…..  it will balance your load at work and family life… this is another me time needed….</p>

Generation Gap

Kata-kata itu sering sekali muncul baik di family life maupun di professional life.

Saya ingat dahulu waktu masih kecil hingga (terutama) remaja sering beda pendapat dengan orang tua dan kadang merasa bahwa yang mereka bicarakan tidak sesuai dengan keinginan saya.

Tetapi begitu saya terjun ke dunia kerja dimana perusahaan saya mempunyai pekerja yg bervariatif masa kerja dan usia, saya mencoba beradaptasi dengan cara pikir mereka. Alhamdulillah saya tidak menemukan perbedaan pendapat yg cukup besar.

Seiring waktu dengan bertambahnya usia saya mempunyai banyak keponakan bahkan salah satunya seperti anak sendiri dengan usia remaja dan di kantor mempunyai hubungan kerja dengan anak2 muda yang baru saja joint, saya dapat melihat babwa orang tua saya dahulu mungkin mempunyai perasaan frustasi yang sama dengan saya pada kala itu.

Itu membuat saya berusaha untuk mencoba melihat dari cara pandang anak muda sekarang dan alhamdulillah para keponakan cukup dekat dengan saya....

Yang saya pelajari dari generation gap ini adalah :

Yang lebih lama pengalaman hidup (saya tidak mau bilang lebih tua karena usia tidak menjadi patokan) :

1. Berbagilah pengalaman...

Kadang pengalaman kita bisa menjadi sumber inspirasi mereka.
Berbagilah pengalaman tanpa kesan menggurui.

2. Perlakukan mereka seperti kawan seusia.

Mereka akan merasa dihargai apabila diajak berbicara seperti sama usia dengan kita

3. Jadikan kesalahan mereka adalah bagian proses belajar

Kalau mereka melakukan kesalahan satu kali berarti itu adalah proses belajar mereka. Jangan menjadi itu sumber kemarahan sehingga mereka tidak berani mengambil keputusan. Tetapi kalau mereka melakukan kesalahan berulang kali maka harus digali lebih dalam apa penyebabnya.... frustasi, tidak mampu atau malah merasa takut salah...

4. Berpikir dan bertindak sesuai kebutuhan jaman mereka

Yang dimaksud di sini adalah jangan berpikir atau bertindak seperti jaman kita dahulu.
Contoh paling mudah adalah dengan jaman technology seperti ini sebagian anak muda lebih suka berdiskusi menggunakan technology dan bukan tatap.muka... cobalah untuk menggunakan hal yang sama..
Dalam kehidupan sebagai seorang ibu, ada kalanya kita menghadapi situasi mereka prefer untuk menyendiri dan pada saat itu hargailah keinginan mereka walaupun kita rasanya gregetan karena tidak diajak bicara dan ingin tahu ada apa selain curiga bahwa mereka mempunyai masalah..

5. Ini adalah yang terpenting yaitu "Trust"

Dalam professional life kita harus trust that they can do it  with our coaching.... bukan dibiarkan saja.
Dalam family life... trust that they will ask our help if they need help.. but we need to keep monitor them without "memojokkan mereka".

Nah sekarang yang saya pelajari dari yang baru saja beranjak dewasa "

1. Hargailah  orang yang lebih tua

Biar bagaimanapun mereka mempunyai pengalaman hidup lebih lama sehingga banyaklah belajar dari mereka.

2. Jangan lupakan sejarah

Sejarah adalah yang membuat hidup kita, perusahaan kita maupun negara kita bahkan dunia kita menjadi seperti sekarang.
Tidak semua sejarah buruk tapi juga tidak semua itu bagus..
Contoh paling mudah, orang tua menyatakan jaman pak H*rt* itu enak sementara  anak muda menyatakan banyak KKN... dari sisi saya melihat adalah banyak yang dilakukan beliau untuk negara ini hingga tetap aman kecuali untuk sebagian orang dan dihargai di mata dunia tetapi kesalahan beliau terbesar adalah beliau tidak mempersiapkan negara untuk jangka panjang .... tetapi kita tidak bisa menyatakan beliau menghancurkan negara ini selama masa pemerintahan beliau karena kalau itu yang terjadi maka negara kita tidak akan seperti sekarang.

3. Memahami cara berpikir orang yang lebih dewasa..

Karena mereka lebih pengalaman mereka mempunyai beberapa pengalaman buruk sehingga ide yang dilemparkan terkadang seolah-olah jadi mentah karena ditentang... berikan solusi untuk mengatasi kemungkinan buruk tersebut
Beberapa orang tua secara psikologis akan paranoid (ini adalah bagian menjadi lebih tua) sehingga imaginasi mereka dapat berkembang memikirkan yang terburuk.... tenangkan mereka dengan memberi kabar atau update terutama bagi anak kepada orang tua nya

4. Ini juga menjadi yang terpenting..... Trust

Percayalah bahwa mereka mempunyai alasan yang baik pada saat challenge ataupun melarang bukan karena mereka akan menjegal atau tidak mempunyai kepercayaan.

Itulah yang saya pelajari dari generation gap ini...

Apakah saya sudah bisa menjalankan semua? Rasa saya belum yach .... tapi yang penting adalah usaha kita untuk mencoba nya.

Career vs educational background

I studied in secretarial school end of 80' and now I am one of the HR assistant manager in one of the multinational company which already more than 20 service years. This company is my 3rd job.

When I finished the secretarial school, I though that my career journey will be as the secretary like my role model, my mom... however 10 years from my service year in this company I was being promoted to be an assistant manager. Why? One of the consideration because I have the experience dealing with the expatriate... because this role at that time is Assistant Country Contact Manager.

And several years later I was taking role in the Remuneration Department and handling numbers and policy in this role which end up to almost 10 years and being respect because of my expertise in this role... which never cross my mind.

People never guess that my background is a secretary because people tend to think that secretary only could do secretarial or administrative job.... soo I would like to share my experience how people especially  secretary could take other role successfully...

I am being blessed that all my career journey as the secretary and the assistant manager which has several different role always getting respect and acknowledgement...soo I will also share what is the tip in my blog.....

This is the opening of my professional tip sharing

Do your hobby now.....

This is my 2nd writting in the blog....

Sometimes need the strength to do a hobby... what strength??? 
whem you are working the whole week and feel that you have the right to just lazy in the weekend but you want to do the hobby... it's my story..

My hobby @home is gardening & sewing however sometimes to do that I have to inspire myself as in some weekend I feel that I feel would like to just sit, watching TV, sleep and doing nothing....

Lucky that my lovely hubby always support anything I want to do but he will much happier if I am doimg gardening n sewing...

Sooo I have to fight my lazziness with thinking what is the result of this hobby and I will stand up and starting it....

Let's do the hobby and find the happiness to do it...